I stop. I stare. I need gum, a soda and a box of animal crackers, because they help processing what to write. Sometimes I’ll just stare at the ceiling expecting mysteries of the universe to be revealed.
My Official List For 2014
1. Accomplish playing “Everywhere To Me” by Michelle Branch on guitar
2. Reach 50 followers (I love where I’m at right now, but would love to grow an ever broader audience)
3. Find five new to people to be inspired by
4. Do more then fifty selfless acts of kindness
5. I would love to win the “Inspired Dancer Award” its this award they give at my school at the end of each year. So I’m listing it as one of my goals, but if its not accomplished I won’t be to disappointed
6. Take up lessons on Crip Walking. I learned a bit from a video here and there, but I want to take actual lessons and invest real time in learning it properly
7. (What every teenage girl wants at my age) A first kiss…maybe??? Every other person my age has already had theirs. Perks of being a freak 🙂
8. Eat a churro (I know, its embarrassing, I have never had one)
9. Have something I have written recognized in some way
10. Get the job I want! Volunteering in this media editing place
11. Finish a realistic and well done short story
12. Be apart of a play. I did a total of seven this year, but I think I am going to follow a different path for the year to come. My acting days are over. I would like to do one last play in 2014 then focus the rest of my future on other things
13. Accomplish a cartwheel
14. Sing in front of someone once. (Had a terrible experience with singing when I was younger so I told myself I would never do that in front of people again) But hey, every year is about facing fears so this is once I hope to and more then likely will accomplish
15. It would be a wonderful experience if I could cry tears of joy. Not much of a emotional person so it would be different….
So there you have it my official resolutions for 2014! I have a feeling this will be a wonderful year
Now on to reflecting back onto 2013
Sadly I have misplaced my 2013 resolutions. But I did accomplish every one of them. There was only three, and from what I remember they were just dumb overused ones. This year its quite a change I have a total of fifteen and I am going to finish every single one of them…I hope. I believe 2013 was a year for finding out my mistakes, noticing who I can and cannot trust, and most of all learning how to rebuild relationships with family, friends, etc. 2013 was a year that most definitely taught me the most so far.
“Sometimes you don’t always go to bed with a dream and wake up with reality, sometimes your dream is reality” unknown
I may be an all or nothing type of person, but I wouldn’t change that about me for anything. I’m so deep on Saturday’s, I swore nobody would believe how depressed or emotional I can get over many songs. I’m naturally one to hide me serious side, I think that’s how I should put it for now. To do something worth my while, I wrote every wish I have for the month down on a sheet of paper; folded it, placed it into a box, and pushed it under a shelf. Alot of that problably doesn’t make any sense what so ever but its a crazy superstision I have, where if am able to forget about the wishes they will come true over time. Its wierd I know, but suprisingly its worked in the past. Another superstision of mine is I tend to believe wishing at 8:11 if far more powerful then making a wish at 11:11 its because there is this whole symbolism that goes with the number eight. Oh and of course eight and eleven happen to be my two favorite numbers without the whole wishing thing, when I was around eight I thought I saw the number alot so I just counted it as one of my favorites. As for eleven my birthday falls on the eleventh day of the eleventh month. If yolo was not so over used that’s how I would end every entry. So for now I shall end it with this week has not been another day in paradise, well ta ta for now!
Here’s a brand new me skates around floats on air. I’m a sight to see rainbow colours in my hair -Anywhere But Here
This months music list for me!
1. Avril Lavigne – Here’s To Never Growing Up
2. Howie Day- Collide
3. Jesse Labelle- Easier
4. Faber Drive- Never Coming Down
5. Michelle Branch- Are You Happy Now
-Words of wisdom from yours truly.
With spring coming…well it’s technically here but you wouldn’t know because of the snow again but anyways back to my point. Knowing springs coming has made me think of this upcoming summer there’s about two and a half months of school left, and my mind is all on summer, should I actually do anything? I will be going to British Columbia for almost a month to visit an old friend when school ends. So when that’s done what’s left? I should create another bucket list at the beginning of June and see how it turns out…blah blah blah just thought I’d share something completely and utterly R@n:D0M
Sometimes I like to feel that the fate of humanity rests in my hands. Like all the movies I’ve watched up until this age have been training me to face the world at it’s core and do something that will forever change it. I can’t speak on how realistic this might be, but who’s to say what the future holds?
Keeping it simple with just another thought.
You know what sucks? When you’re a third wheel.
“It’ll be fun!” Shut up… *sad face*
I hear the kissing noises, the intimate whispers, the inside jokes that couples have, and the way they naturally distance themselves from the third wheel (me) as they fall into their own bubble of love. It’s sweet, but not when i’m the single and bitter about love bitch. Third wheeling sucks and it sucks even more when they get lovey dovey. What do you do? Where do you look? How do you not look awkward and lonely? How do I pretend I did not just see that…
It’s those moments where you want to run away or cut their tongues off. It just sucks. My god these hormones are driving me wild. I never realized how much I want someone to be there in that sense. I don’t need a guy to give meaning…
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by Jen Anderson, Fashion Writer
Just as most our favorite shows are finishing up their spring runs, MTV’s Awkward is set to debut its long awaited third season.
Awkward is a show that’s hard not to love. There’s certainly a little Jenna inside everyone, as we can all relate to the awkward situations in which the characters often find themselves.
The third season of Awkward seems to be slightly blissful, with the death of a minor character and a near pregnancy scare (that barely lasted two minutes) being the biggest drama yet. Hopefully the real drama will unfold over the next few episodes, and Jenna will find herself in her crazy, blog-worthy world.
In this week’s episode, the student body attempted to push past Ricky Schwartz’s death, with each individual showing signs of grief in all sorts of bizarre ways. Tamara, though stressing over the question of whether her “oodoo-voodoo”…
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What was the one experience that completely changed your life? What happened? How did it change your life?
If I had any experiences that completely changed my life. I tell you nobody would know about them because I’m just not the type of person who would share a thing like that, but maybe I just will next time because I actually have’nt had any yet!
don’t be afraid to grow up, but don’t be in a rush to do it either.
Chances are, you know someone who blogs. Just in my little social circle alone, I have friends that blog about their family,friends, they blog about current events and hobbies, and friends that blog as a way to promote their businesses. In this huge world of 6.9 billion people, blogging has given previously unknown people a voice
Take chances, take a lot of them. Because honestly, no matter where you end up and with whom, it always ends up just the way it should be. Your mistakes make you who you are. You learn and grow with each choice you make. Everything is worth it. Say how you feel, always. Be you, and be okay with it. -Unknown ❤ ❤ ❤
Making lists used to be my go to, and for a while I just stopped making them because they always ended up either half finished or a reminder of things I would never do. Today however, I found my inspiration. I made this list a year or so ago and I just thought its been a while and things have changed quite a bit so here I am again.
My New & Improved List of 25 Things I Love
1. Soft Blankets (throw blankets)
2. Bonding with friends over board games
3. Horror movies
5. Watching documentaries about historical events (The Holocaust, The Slave Trade, etc.)
6. Criminal Justice
7. Painted Nails
8. Using lipgloss as my only source of makeup *sometimes eye shadow if I have the energy*
9. Flip flops
10. Driving in the rain
11. Chocolate covered raisins
14. Taking my dog for long walks by the lake
15. Donating blood
16. Characters who start off hating each other then fall in love by the end of the series
17. Wilmington North Carolina
19. Temporary tattoos
20. Telescopes *star gazing*
21. Teaching people guitar
22. Playing scrabble
23. Keeping a journal of prayers so I don’t forget them and for other purposes such as, remembering what kind of promises I have made for myself
24. Sitting on counters & tables
25. Rocking chairs
So I have almost gone through all the shows that have kept me going for the last few years now.
I just finished up The Office, Secret Life of The American Teenager (don’t ask me why I watched this) The Vampire Diaries, and as I dread saying this One Tree Hill (okay well I have 12 episodes left)
What I’m thinking of watching next includes:
I’m still looking for more there is lots out there.
I think I know where I want to be or at least I hope I do. One of the the things that bugs me about getting there is how much I’m giving up in order to do it. To be more more direct; I’m graduating high school in a month and moving away to go to school. Not too many of my friends are leaving and so I’ve become accustom this entire year to not really making close relationships with anyone in the fear of saying goodbye. Out of all the ridiculous things I have done this is probably the worst yet. On a different note I did get a new job that I absolutely love. Not too many teenagers can say that but it really is. I get to work in a retirement home and be a server without the tasks of worrying about money or selling a product. Honestly a dream come true. I will have to give it up however, once the summer is over and school starts, but for now I’m living the dream. I don’t know what kind of job I’ll have when I’m in college, I’m looking to get back into babysitting or nannying possibly but that’s too far away to think about right now. I have to pass all my classes and enjoy the time I have left with my dog. Yes my dog. My dog is going to be the hardest person in the world to say goodbye to because I have had her for a year and I have grown so attached that even leaving for a few weeks last summer gave me such separation anxiety, I don’t know what I’m going to do when it’s permanent.
My problems seem so miniscule right now and I know they’re nothing compared to adulthood that lies ahead. Ready…Set..go
I have hated the majority of the last 12 years of school. Most people can look back and say how magical their first day of Kindergarten was or how Elementary and Middle school were their “care free” days. I on the other hand have never known the meaning. All I’ve ever wanted was to be a teenager because it was that next level of happiness I would reach. I have to admit, my life did get a lot happier when I became a teen. I gained more friends and actually grew a lot more academically orientated because I could count on myself to work hard. Well the teenager phase of my life is almost over and I will be moving into adulthood pretty soon. I have never in all my life been so happy. The thing is I’m not blind to all the hardships that are about to come my way with managing finances, etc, I just am so appreciative that I have made it this far.
Dear whomever is still listening. I’ve been thinking lately about how much I hate holidays. Maybe not everyone, like Halloween for instance, I don’t mind that one so much. However, Christmas, Thanksgiving, my Birthday even, that’s another story. It stems a lot from the way my family is, and also the fact someone is always sick, miserable or missing. Those kind of days are supposed to create moments that you can cherish, and because I have few of those, I need more of something to hope for. If you asked me today what day of my life I would like to relive over and over again, I wouldn’t be able to name one. I’m 17 years old and I can’t tell you a day I loved so much I would live over again. That’s why I have so much trust in the future. I’m not too trusting though, because I know I can’t reach happiness, it’s a mood not a destination you arrive at.
I have had a pretty insane last few months. The more I try to put into words what my mind is thinking, the more my thoughts become unreadable. Just a little while ago I had the chance to read a book in English that has actually turned out to be one of my favorite books I have ever had the chance it read in English yet. The book was titled 1984 by George Orwell. If you find yourself in place where you want to read something thought provoking and educational I highly recommend that book.
Another thing I have also had the opportunity to do just over a month ago is give blood. The experience did not go over so well but the fact I did it is a reward in it’s own.
My free time has mostly been spent watching the Divergent Series and Harry Potter. I didn’t have an interest for those things until really recently and I just felt something was compelling me to watch them, and so I did. Most things I do are done because of that previously mentioned reasoning, a gut feeling.
Also if anyone is interested I recently discovered this series called Beyond Fact or Fiction that is mostly focused on premonitions and other strange phenomenon that people believe have happened to them. I discovered this show when I was working on my independent study that is on the psychological phenomenon of premonitions and deja vu.
So this has been my life recently, and I’m glad I had the chance to get back into writing and things.
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