So I have almost gone through all the shows that have kept me going for the last few years now.
I just finished up The Office, Secret Life of The American Teenager (don’t ask me why I watched this) The Vampire Diaries, and as I dread saying this One Tree Hill (okay well I have 12 episodes left)
What I’m thinking of watching next includes:
I’m still looking for more there is lots out there.
I think I know where I want to be or at least I hope I do. One of the the things that bugs me about getting there is how much I’m giving up in order to do it. To be more more direct; I’m graduating high school in a month and moving away to go to school. Not too many of my friends are leaving and so I’ve become accustom this entire year to not really making close relationships with anyone in the fear of saying goodbye. Out of all the ridiculous things I have done this is probably the worst yet. On a different note I did get a new job that I absolutely love. Not too many teenagers can say that but it really is. I get to work in a retirement home and be a server without the tasks of worrying about money or selling a product. Honestly a dream come true. I will have to give it up however, once the summer is over and school starts, but for now I’m living the dream. I don’t know what kind of job I’ll have when I’m in college, I’m looking to get back into babysitting or nannying possibly but that’s too far away to think about right now. I have to pass all my classes and enjoy the time I have left with my dog. Yes my dog. My dog is going to be the hardest person in the world to say goodbye to because I have had her for a year and I have grown so attached that even leaving for a few weeks last summer gave me such separation anxiety, I don’t know what I’m going to do when it’s permanent.
My problems seem so miniscule right now and I know they’re nothing compared to adulthood that lies ahead. Ready…Set..go
I recently discovered Reddit and it was one of my new favourite things. I started going on it to read about Mandela effects because I find them just so fascinating, however, then it became really useful to rant about problems with school, my future career, and favourite television shows. At this point in my life, for some reason, it just felt like something I really needed. My description of Reddit however, is it is basically like yahoo answers on drugs, so if you think it’s for you, give it a try!
I have hated the majority of the last 12 years of school. Most people can look back and say how magical their first day of Kindergarten was or how Elementary and Middle school were their “care free” days. I on the other hand have never known the meaning. All I’ve ever wanted was to be a teenager because it was that next level of happiness I would reach. I have to admit, my life did get a lot happier when I became a teen. I gained more friends and actually grew a lot more academically orientated because I could count on myself to work hard. Well the teenager phase of my life is almost over and I will be moving into adulthood pretty soon. I have never in all my life been so happy. The thing is I’m not blind to all the hardships that are about to come my way with managing finances, etc, I just am so appreciative that I have made it this far.
Dear whomever is still listening. I’ve been thinking lately about how much I hate holidays. Maybe not everyone, like Halloween for instance, I don’t mind that one so much. However, Christmas, Thanksgiving, my Birthday even, that’s another story. It stems a lot from the way my family is, and also the fact someone is always sick, miserable or missing. Those kind of days are supposed to create moments that you can cherish, and because I have few of those, I need more of something to hope for. If you asked me today what day of my life I would like to relive over and over again, I wouldn’t be able to name one. I’m 17 years old and I can’t tell you a day I loved so much I would live over again. That’s why I have so much trust in the future. I’m not too trusting though, because I know I can’t reach happiness, it’s a mood not a destination you arrive at.
I’m not your anchor so don’t hold on
I’m not the answer you got me wrong
I’m not your savior, save your energy
To find out who you are, who you are without me
“Oh chariot your golden waves
are walking down upon this face
Oh chariot I’m singing out loud
To guide me
Give me your: