On The Move

“That feeling when your heart drops to your stomach is very surreal and sometimes the best motivation out there.” – Unknown

The school year starts soon and I’m preparing to move. It wouldn’t be the first time either. Three years ago my family had moved around a few times before we came to living where we are now, but yet again I’m forced to pack up what I know and find comfort living somewhere else. There’s no leaving town or switching schools. It bothers me because I’m tired of relocating and explaining reasoning for it. My story has always been complicated, I just never thought I would have so much trouble adapting to change. I’m scared for the future, most people are though, my irrational fear is minor but troublesome.


25 Relatable Confessions

1. I love cheesy romantic movies

2. I dislike most animals

3. If I could have one power, it’d be mind reading

4. I watch more romantic comedies then I should

5. Most of the time I’m a hypocrite when it comes to TV shows. I used to complain about what a “dumb girly show” Pretty Little Liars’ is, and here I am on my third year watching it. Same goes for the Vampire Diaries…

6. My mom thinks if I don’t have seconds at the dinner table I either have an eating problem or I’m sick

7.  Guitar and the outdoors are the only two things that can really clear my mind

8. I’m a strong believer in GOD

9. I’ll clean if it’s my idea

10. I have a strong hatred for partiers, those who do drugs, and anyone who drinks underage. However I wish I could come across less uptight

11. Smoking is the one thing I could never accept about someone —  If only I could be okay with everyone’s choices

12. I’m afraid my plans for the future are to unrealistic

13. I have sleepwalked

14. Sometimes the songs I listen to can give me non realistic expectations for a situation

15. I can eat almost anything I don’t like if it’s given to me by a friend or an acquaintance

16. Being a people pleaser is something I am often judged for but find joy in

17. Grades will stress me out to the point of biting my gums

18. If I miss one shower I feel disgusting

19. Musty rain and camping together give me the sensation of nails on a chalkboard

20. I’ve always wanted to live in a small beach town

21. I frequently get excited when I join a lot of things but then become unable to achieve them all like I had envisioned

22. The dark still scares me because I watched too many horror movies as a kid

23. Sarcasm helps with making decisions

24. Befriending people I never thought about knowing has really changed my perception of people

25. I never wear makeup and sometimes find myself reading about why others do.


Confused & Sleepwalking

So after doing some well needed research on sleepwalking, I came to the conclusion that I had experienced something called “Somnambulism.” It means having your eyes open while your asleep; a very rare phenomenon.

My first encounter with sleepwalking with my eyes open was no less then a month ago. I was away from home, which is the reason I think it happened in the first place. I was dreaming about something and had no recollection of what I was doing. Everything around me looked like it should, but in my head I was somewhere different. It was not long after something had let my brain recall what I was doing. This again being rare, as most people experience sleep walking with no memory of it. I however can remember everything to the moment I gained my reality back.

This happened again the following day. However, this is where it might get interesting. I was in my dream trance and remember looking outside my window and seeing people sitting outside. These were unknown people to me. My environment was still the same as when I had fallen asleep, and even in my dreaming I tried to make sense of why they were there. Again as what happened with the previous night I gained control within minutes and recognized where I was a crawled back into bed.

The next day yet again I had another dream and sleepwalked. Luckily during these times I had not waken any others up, for I gained complete consciousness before it lead to any disruption. When I arrived home the sleepwalking stopped. Today I still wonder what may have been an instigator for these oddly dreams.

If anyone else has ever encountered any of what I just described, feel free to share!

Entitled To Succeed

Let’s say school started tomorrow. The beginning of the end. Junior year and all the baggage that comes along with it. I remember about seven years ago, I had to of been at least eight or so. I would watch all the nostalgic shows people talk about now, and wait for the day I could walk those high school halls and be the kind of teen with cool clothing and a nice group of friends they showed on TV. When it came down to it I just didn’t care about any of that. I wanted to study until my brain hurt and make it out of school with a hopeful future. Now? I’m more unsure then I’ve really ever been. There are no “first day montages” rolling through my head anymore. It’s all workstudyworkstudyworkstudydriverslicenseworkstudy. I was warned, so I am really just taking this time to  reflect on how I should preserver and make this year top the last and so on. I’m in high school, that doesn’t mean I’m entitled to complain. Everyone goes in, and those who find the moments that make it worth while come out the best they’ve ever been. This year I’m going to focus on my grades of course, building stronger relationships with my friends, and really enjoying being young and eager to succeed. After all, attitude is everything.